Life does not go exactly the way we want. Sometimes very painful things happen to us, and sometimes we make decisions that we painfully regret. This is part of life.
When we let these situations define us, we force ourselves to become victims. We remove the power from ourselves. Staying powerless is an active decision, even though it can mistakenly seem like the easier way to live. Without power, we do not have to do anything. We do not have to work to change our lives for the better.
Being a victim of a person or situation can feel righteous. We say, “Poor me. I am good and innocent and this other person or situation is bad.” It makes us feel better for a moment, but only in the same way that eating a giant piece of cake might feel good when we are stressed. It is temporary and does more harm than good.
When we cannot move past feelings of victimization, we cause ourselves to suffer. This is true whether we feel victimized by another person, by ourselves, or by life.
When we feel victimized, we give up the authority to make our lives better. We give up our responsibility. Our identity becomes one of someone who suffers. It becomes our habit, and we begin to see life through the lens of someone who is always hurting.
Feeling victimized is habitual. It is addictive, and it completely drains us of the ability to be a catalyst for the success of our own lives. Feeling sorry for ourselves means that we are not actively directing our lives through healthy decisions.
We become so accustomed to it that we do not remember what life was like without it. We are victims if we choose to believe so, because we are the authors of our own stories. What we believe about ourselves becomes true.
The antithesis of victimization is empowerment. While victimization drains a person, empowerment gives vitality. When you empower yourself, you give yourself power. You become the authority of your own life, your own thoughts, and your own decisions. You remove yourself from being sullen and learn how to become inspired.
Being empowered also means being resilient and having the ability to handle life’s difficult situations without breaking down. Take a moment to reflect on your day. Notice the situations in which you feel helpless and start to feel sorry for yourself. Also notice the times when you overcome and feel empowered.
What is the difference? What causes you to act one way in specific situations and a different way in others? Look inside yourself. You decide if you are a victim or if you are empowered. Only you can decide for yourself what you are, no matter the circumstance. What do you choose?
