Positive thinking is a term that is thrown around a lot. It has been discussed in so many ambiguous ways. Today I will discuss what it means in relation to my work with clients, because it is an important subject that I work with a lot.
Positive thinking means having the strength and courage to accept and face life’s situations, even the very difficult ones. It is the knowledge that our thoughts are what create the quality of our lives, and when we are able to focus our minds on a plan of action rather than stagnating with fear and anxiety, it is then that we are able to have balance.
Positive thinking means that we do not take things so personally because we know that the things other people say and do are part of their story, not ours. It means knowing how to have goals and do our best to reach them while also accepting that life has unexpected turns.
Positive thinking means that we feel energized by life because we do not take our thoughts and emotions so seriously that we let them define our day. It means not having the need to complain or whine on a constant basis. It means accepting what comes, doing the best we can, having fun, and not taking everything so seriously.
Sometimes we have wonderful days and sometimes we have hard days. Positive thinking means that we provide ourselves with the tools not to get too attached to the good and not to be too affected by the bad.
It does not mean that we never get angry, offended, or sad. But when we do, we also accept the fact that though there is a feeling within us at that present moment, it is temporary. It does not define us, and we do not have to be absorbed by it.
It also means that we do not get so attached to and absorbed by happiness and excitement that we feel down when it passes. When we get too attached to happiness or optimism, we have a harder time when these transient moods change.
Over 2,500 years ago in ancient Greece, Heraclitus said, “The only thing that is constant is change.” What was true since the beginning of time is also true today. Nothing stays the same, and everything changes.
Our strength and positive thinking lie not in being happy and optimistic all the time, but in being able to accept these changes with a certain level of equanimity, and also in not getting so anxious, afraid, or drained when things go differently than we want.
When we are able to do this, our definitions of good and bad change and often become much less acute. If we had true control over everything, our lives would go exactly according to our plan. But we have no real control. We can only adjust ourselves to what life brings us.
This is true positive thinking.
