We identify with our story and narrative so strongly that we let it become our thoughts, perceptions, feelings, and entire lives. We connect with the stories we tell ourselves of what should be and what should not be. We feel pain when our story does not fit the narrative we have decided it should.
We get caught up when people act and react to us in ways that we feel are offensive, disrespectful, or not the way we want them to. We get caught up in the story: “She said, he said. He did this terrible thing to me. She wasn’t there for me when I needed her. He didn’t pay attention to me.”
It is important to have healthy boundaries with people, but getting attached to these stories causes such a dramatic experience that we drown in the whirlwind of it. It is possible to learn how to say, “This is that person’s issue, and though he did it to me, it is not personal to me.”
We do not have to take offense and be hurt by everything thrown at us. We have learned to do this. These are impulsive reactions. There is a way to take a step back and not feel so hurt by situations.
We can decide to cut off connection with someone because we see their behavior is toxic or draining, and we can do it without all the pain or anger that may be associated with it. It is possible to remove ourselves from the story.
Parallel to this is the clarity of seeing where our own actions toward others are part of a story, rather than the reality we have created based on a clear and harmonious understanding of what we want.
When we learn to be there for ourselves, our expectations of others drastically reduce. Our addiction to the story is often an addiction to drama, stress, anger, and pain. It all causes adrenaline rushes. When we are more connected to ourselves, drama no longer gives us a rush. It drains us.
We start to remove ourselves from it until it becomes our nature to see things in a much healthier reality. We begin to have a balanced story, and our habits and way of life become more harmonious. That is true growth.
For more information on how to facilitate this growth, call today.
